the+'how+to'+page


 * THE 'HOW TO' PAGE**

STEP BY STEP...
 * HOW TO COOK A JESSE CLOSE...

1. FIND A JESSE CLOSE (THEY'RE VERY RARE AND HARD TO GET) AND LURE HIM INTO A&P ELECTRONICS BY MAKING HIM CHASE THE MONEY.

2. MAKE HIM WALK INTO THE BACK STOREROOM BY TELLING HIM THAT THERES A $7000 GUITAR IN THERE.

3. TACKLE HIM DOWN AND CARRY HIM ON A FORK LIFT TO THE PRINCESS HIGHWAY AND CHUCK HIM OFF THE EDGE

4. RETREVE THE BODY AND SCOOP HIM BACK ONTO THE FOLK LIFT AND TAKE HIM TO A SECLUDED KITCHEN

5. CHUCK HIM IN THE GIANT-SIZED POT FULL OF BOILING WATER.

6. CHUCK SOME CHOCOLATE AND DONUTS IN THE POT AND STIR

7. POUR HIM INTO EQUAL SIZED SHOES AND ENJOY

THE END ^ ^ ^ ^ RANDOM, MUCH? BY ALANA AND KARLEE **