Jokes+page

= = =Random jokes= A lady with her baby is sitting in a bus beside the driver… “What an ugly baby!” said the driver to the lady. ** =Blonde jokes= = = ** __Game of intellegence__ There was a blonde who found herself sitting next to a Lawyer on an airplane. The lawyer just kept bugging the blonde wanting her to play a game of intelligence. Finally, the lawyer offered her 10 to 1 odds, and said every time the blonde could not answer one of his questions, she owed him $5, but every time he could not answer hers, he'd give her $50.00. The lawyer figured he could not lose, and the blonde reluctantly accepted.
 * 
 * Feeling insulted, she moved to another seat and murmured a few things under her breathe. The man next to her asked, “What happened?” **
 * “The driver just insulted me!” she cried. Sympathetic, the man offered, “That bastard, he shouldn’t have insulted you! Go, get his number. I’ll hold your monkey for you.” **
 * Recently a teacher, a garbage collector, and a lawyer wound up together at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter informed them that in order to get into Heaven, they would each have to answer one question. **
 * St. Peter addressed the teacher and asked, “What was the name of the ship that crashed into the iceberg? They just made a movie about it.” **
 * The teacher answered quickly, “That would be the Titanic.” St. Peter let him through the gate. **
 * St. Peter turned to the garbage man and, figuring Heaven didn’t really need all the odours that this guy would bring with him, decided to make the question a little harder: “How many people died on the ship?” **
 * Fortunately for him, the trash man had just seen the movie. “1,228,” he answered. **
 * “That’s right! You may enter.” **
 * St. Peter then turned his attention to the lawyer… “Name them.” **

The lawyer first asked, "What is the distance between the Earth and the nearest star?"

Without saying a word the blonde handed him $5. then the blonde asked, "What goes up a hill with 3 legs and comes back down the hill with 4 legs?"

Well, the lawyer looked puzzled. He took several hours, looking up everything he could on his laptop and even placing numerous air-to-ground phone calls trying to find the answer. Finally, angry and frustrated, he gave up and paid the blonde $50.00

The blonde put the $50 into her purse without comment, but the lawyer insisted, "What is the answer to your question?"

Without saying a word, the blonde handed him $5. __Blonde logic__ January - Took new scarf back to store because it was too tight.

February - Fired from pharmacy job for failing to print labels....."duh".....bottles won't fit in typewriter!!!

March - Got excited.....finished jigsaw puzzle in 6 months.....box said "2-4 years!"

April - Trapped on escalator for hours.....power went out!!!

May - Tried to make Kool-Aid.....8 cups of water won't fit into those little packets!!!

June - Tried to go water skiing.....couldn't find a lake with a slope.

July - Lost breast stroke swimming competition.....learned later, other swimmers cheated, they used their arms!!!

August - Got locked out of car in rain storm.....car swamped, because top was down.

September - The capital of California is "C".....isn't it???

October - Hate M & M's.....they are so hard to peel.

November - Baked turkey for 4 1/2 days.....instructions said 1 hour per pound and I weigh 108!!!

December - Couldn't call 911....."duh".....there's no "eleven" button on the phone!!!

What a year!! ** http://www.coolblondejokes.com/DumbJokes/GameOfIntelligence.shtml

Courtney